What was so remarkable about the episode was that nothing horrible happened. Quite the opposite, in fact. In a show famous for twists, turns, drama and jarring tragedy, the series finale could not have tied a more beautiful bow for every character and plot line.
We fans sat there pleasantly shocked that we weren’t pounding our fists and grumbling about what they did to our favorite character. But it made me wonder what could’ve happened if the finale ended in depressing and morbid fashion, true to its form.
So, here are Seven Tragedies That Didn’t Happen in the Downton Abbey Finale:
7. Students begin to incessantly bully Mr. Mosely and cause him to melt into a puddle of goo.
6. Andy falls off the roof, crushing Mr. Drewe and his plate of freshly-baked-by-Miss Padmore cookies.
5. Daisy attempts an insurrection of York, only to be cut down by the steady rifle of none other than ex-pat Mr. Bates.
4. Thomas crumbles on the first day of his new job when he learns he will be the butler, valet, cook, lady’s maid and pig man.
3. Lady Mary snatches away Bertie to become the Marchioness of Hexham, sparking a no-holds bar cat fight to the death with Lady Edith.
2. Lord Grantham excuses himself from dinner and promptly suffers an outrageous, 20s-style brain aneurism that causes his head to explode all over his guests.
1. Not to be outdone, Mr. Carson unintentionally shakes the booze out onto the table candles, setting the dining room ablaze and bringing light to the finale’s title, Downton’s Inferno.
Perhaps I missed one? Feel free to add yours in the comments!