10 Ridiculously Niche Roadside Sales Signs

signIf you’ve read me long enough, you know I’m highly amused by signs. They leave little space to communicate important messages, so often you have to live without a decent explanation of what the thing means.

You might’ve seen those little signs by the road that someone has just staked in the ground, perhaps at the corner of an intersection. They’re often business signs, with a simple statement of what the business or person does, along with their phone number. They’ll say “WE BUY HOUSES” or “WE BUY OLD CARS.” Pretty typical, right?

Well I was recently driving along and saw a sign reading “WE BUY DIABETIC TEST STRIPS.” I bet there’s someone out there who gets really excited about unloading their cache of diabetic test strips. They probably see that sign and exclaim “Finally!”, then weep with joy and get out of the car to hug sidewalk folk.

It is such a niche sign. I get the other ones that appeal to everyone. Like “We buy shoes.” OK, do any of you drivers got any of those? Of course you do. Obviously the maker of the sign doesn’t lack sales sense (though he may lack a pair of shoes, which would call into question his business savvy and ability to make a decent living).

But “WE BUY DIABETIC TEST STRIPS”? I have zero clue what those are. I’m almost 35 and if you showed me one I’d ask you what the hell it was. The target market for this advertisement is so narrow, I would think any phone call the advertiser receives would incite a wild party with the boss saying things like, “I told you that sign was genius” and “Drinks are on me. These diabetic test strips will take us right to the top.”

It did make me wonder what other highly niche signs could be placed roadside to grab the attention of the masses (and the response of an embarrassingly scant few).

So here are nine more Ridiculously Niche Roadside Sales Signs:

  1. We buy surplus hot pink bathroom tile grout.
  2. We buy used assault rifles from Swiss warfare.
  3. We buy disintered remains of mustachioed vampires.
  4. We buy boats. From the game Battleship.
  5. We buy Gary Busey VHS tapes.
  6. We buy most kinds of rubble.
  7. We buy boiled shrimp shells and leftover cocktail sauce.
  8. We buy size 51-48 jorts.
  9. We buy difficult-to-catch birds.

Do you have a ridiculously niche roadside sales sign? Leave one in the comments!

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