A Dad’s Spring Break in the Big Apple

What is spring break? Looking at the words alone implies stopping when spring comes, taking a rest from the busy things you normally do. You wouldn’t think it actually means speeding up to do thousands of things for thousands of dollars.

But if you take spring break to New York City, that’s exactly what it means. It’s a five-day, whirlwind, wallet-exploding adventure on taxis and trains, boats and planes, sidewalks and crosswalks, escalators and elevators. Even the walks—brisk ones through parks, fast ones over avenues, long ones across the island—are taxing and purposeful. It’s not a spring break. It’s a brakeless trip made possible by broken piggy banks. And it’s a crapload of fun.

Hello, New York

We flew into JFK Saturday afternoon, a dreary and stormy day casting doubt on what we could do. Our cab driver was a friendly fellow from Bangladesh, who told me about his journey to become a U.S. citizen. He commented on how the U.S. is unique in its support for helping immigrants into the country, compared to other parts of the world. It was interesting this was his experience and it made me thankful I never had to worry about living in a great country.

We stayed at a cozy yet satisfying hotel in Chelsea, with our room facing southward and offering a view of One World Trade Center. We dropped our stuff and made our way to Empire Diner, joining a bustling lunch crowd to tasty soups and sandwiches. As we stepped outside the overcast skies became clear and sunny, and we headed toward Hudson Yards on the High Line, our destination being the Edge, a 1,200 ft. skyscraper with an outdoor deck and glass floor. Disappointingly the sky deck was closed due to severe wind conditions. We had to make a choice to transfer to another day or go up with the chance they could open the deck back up. Given there was nothing else planned and the fam was given me the “better do something soon, in-charge man” vibes, we opted to go up. 

The clear day afforded us remarkable 360-degree views of the city. We were about to leave when we saw two staff members go outside with a wind meter. I was hoping and praying they’d let us out there. But as I was, I realized how fortunate I was to be up there in the first place. The fact that I lived in the year 2023 and could go to the top of a skyscraper to see such views was a gift in itself. They didn’t open the deck, but it was well with my soul.

Once that fun was over there became an unexpectedly urgent need for a hot dog. We found a nearby stand and did our first very New York thing: eating a sloppy hot dog on a bench with pigeons on standby for our crumbs. That was enough for the day. We’d need to conserve energy for the next.

American Museum of Natural History, Midtown, and Times Square

The plan on Sunday was to walk down to Washington Square for a bagel (20 minutes, come on people, that’s not so bad). Not so bad if you have man legs and don’t mind 35-degree wind whipping at your face. We made it 3/4 of the way, I took a wrong turn, and it was game over on that plan. New plan was find the nearest cafe for something warm. My tax for imposing a thoughtless, cold-weather-dad walk was a pair of four-dollar hot chocolates. The stop at Partners Coffee Shop in the Village was worth it. Alas, we needed an activity where we could be indoors, so we shifted gears and took a subway to the American Museum of Natural History. I love this part of Manhattan, the open, Central Park West area, home to trees, big streets, amazing buildings, and more hot dogs. We arrived at the museum, though not at its entrance, which was a decent walk from the subway. I didn’t realize how big this building was. There must be more stuff in there than I thought, I thought. 

Indeed, AMNH is a gargantuan museum. It’s five stories tall and covers the entire natural history of the universe. As a grown, introverted man not much would give me more pleasure than transporting my mind to civilizations that lived thousands of years ago or geeking out on the evolution of sauropod feet in the Jurassic era. Yet my crew doesn’t share this affinity for museum deep dives. They’re largely content to have a gander at a gander but not read about its complex migrational habits.

So the day’s mentality had to shift from “read stuff” to “look at stuff.” From “that’s interesting the megalodon had no cerebral cortex” to ” ‘dem bones were cool.” The fam did let me read some stuff, I just had to jog through exhibits to catch back up with them. Truly, we loved the experience and it really captured our wonder. Learning about natural history reminds me of how small I am, a tiny, almost insignificant speck in time and space. Yet that time and space is so majestically designed, so diverse and vast, so miraculously held together by the great Invisible. And that we tiny homo sapiens are significant and can actually do outstanding things.

From the museum we strolled Central Park, walked up to Belvedere Castle, and took a cab into Midtown. Hudson treated the Nike and NBA stores much like I did the AMNH, gawking at slick duds and memorabilia. Ella enjoyed the American Girl Doll Store, essentially a paradise for doll babies and their kid mommies.

When in NYC, you have to go to Times Square at night, right? Probably not, unless your kids haven’t experienced it, and then you just have to venture into all that fluorescent, commercialized cacophony. We arrived to street performers doing unimpressive things and people selling very expensive junk. We got a pie at Joe’s Pizza, a very New York experience. It was like standing, waiting, ordering, and eating a pizza with a crowd of people in an Amazon box. While having to pee. Thankfully we hustled our way into a nearby hotel and enjoyed their lavatorious spoils. When you pee semi-legally in Times Square, you’ve won.

World Trade Center and Statue of Liberty

The next day we subwayed to lower Manhattan and started walking the grounds of the World Trade Center. I hadn’t seen it since it was nothing but a cleaned-out crater ~10 years ago. The area is beautiful and the memorial was moving. It’s really an impressive tribute to such a world-altering tragedy.

The rest of the day was spent at Liberty Island and Ellis Island. The whole thing is an incredibly efficient New York operation. Getting hundreds of people onto a boat in mere minutes is the stuff Old West cattle herders would admire. The story of the Statue of Liberty was rich and intriguing and being up close to the monument was awe-inspiring. It was a picturesque day that gave us incredible views of Manhattan. Definitely a highlight of the trip. We also went to Ellis Island, also rich in history and something I’d love to do a deep tour of one day. But on this day the kids had museumed enough and could only stare at so many old pictures and glass-encased frock coats.

We returned to Battery Island and took a cab up to Midtown for dinner. Definitely the most interesting cab ride of the trip. I asked the guy how his day was, he said “good,” and then it was quiet for 15 minutes. Quiet inside the cab, that is. Outside was honking and sirens and bystanders gasping at near-death crosswalk encounters. Toward the end of the ride the cabby and I actually bonded over a very “I don’t give a damn” driving moment in front of us. It was sweet in a we-don’t-really-understand-each-other-but-we’re-trying-to-in-New-York kinda way. We enjoyed a tasty dinner at Javelina. It’s basically a Mexican restaurant that costs $125. New York wins again but I still felt like we won, too. The day ended with checking out the Harry Potter store and a nightcap of butterbeer.

Culture and couture – Midtown and Broadway

Tuesday was full of walking and visiting landmarks. Madison Square Garden, the New York Public Library, St. Patrick’s Cathedral, Rockafeller Center, and boutiques and megastores in between. That afternoon, we thought we’d visit a few Broadway box offices and see if there were any tickets for the night’s performances. First we stopped at Wicked. There was only one group of four tickets left and I decided to not pull the trigger so we could visit a couple more places. So we walked briskly to Hamilton, which had one ticket left. But we saw Thayne Jasperson, a cast member, exit the theater on his bike, which made Ella’s day.

Then we hustled back to Wicked, with me saying little prayers like “if those tickets are still there, Lord, I know it would brighten my daughter’s day, but if not, I trust your will in me not dropping 500 bones on a play.” When we arrived, two of the tickets were still there–with another two in the very front row for the same price. One of those moments where you just gotta splurge. So we went back to the hotel to freshen up, had a nice Italian dinner at Chelsea’s Zia Maria, took a subway back to Broadway (which featured the train getting stuck for ten agonizing minutes followed by a healthy rat greeting us as the doors opened), and made it just in time for the show.

On our last day we visited Chelsea Market and indulged in various tasty treats, a taste of New York if you will. It was a great way to end the trip.

What New York is like

What can I say about New York? Perhaps I’ll try with how it appealed to my senses.

New York smells like marijuana. When you leave your hotel, when you step off the subway, when you walk into a park. Early in the morning, too, New Yorkers are consuming it like a cup of coffee. But really, NYC is full of smells. You pass through the stench of sewer fog to enter a bakery redolent of fine butter and the sweetest creams.

New York sounds like horns and talking. But there’s so much of that, it becomes white noise. It’s my family’s laughter I’ll remember hearing most.

New York tastes delicious. Food is good everywhere. It has to be because there’s so much competition, such high rental costs, such diversity in cuisines. Restaurants and cafes have to bring it, and we enjoyed the spoils.

New York looks huge, impressive, monolithic, dingy, and picturesque all at once. You walk by a building you’d surmise criminals or ghosts had been living in with the next one having a 200-year-old gothic design.

And New York feels like cold wind whipping between buildings to hot sun reflecting off of them. It feels like you’re in a metropolis that goes on forever. It feels like a great city in modern civilization, and it is.

We’ll always remember and be thankful for our amazing trip there.